Today I helped my cousin once removed (how I do love dropping that into conversation casually) move some boxes into her new condo. She and her husband have been living in the same house for the last 34 years and recently decided to sell their house and move into a condo just a few minutes away. The logic for this is pretty sound, they know the area well and the house is becoming too much of a job for the two of them. However moving on after 30 years is naturally going to be a bit of a tough move. During the day she mentioned I must be well used to moving at this stage now.

People have commented on how well I have handled moving my life over to Canada. How well I have adjusted and settled into it. It all still seems a bit surreal to me. And I was luckier than most, when I moved over I had visited the city twice already. I had seen the house and the area that I’d be moving to. My boyfriend was already over here setting up shop and I have some family here. I even had a job lined up. All this meant for a far easier move than most people. It still has yet to feel real to me though. That this is not an extended holiday and that this is in fact my new life now.

My cousin also asked if I thought I would stay here for the long haul. A few people have asked me that, if I see myself staying here for long. I honestly have no idea yet. I have only been here for three months, I’m not sure if I want to stay here for the rest of my life. I like the city, I like the people and I like how easy it is to get amazing sushi here. I like, after over a year of being apart, being with my boyfriend again.

I am homesick a lot. I miss being able to see my niece grow up. I miss Dublin and I miss my friends. But if I am to be brutally honest I think I’m homesick for something that doesn’t exist anymore. A lot of my friends are no longer in Dublin, they’ve moved on to other places. The house I used to live in Dublin is inhabited by other people now and the cats that I used to feed in the street are getting their substance from somewhere else (sob).

Things change, we cannot control it. We move on to different things and the world keeps turning. If you can’t tell I’m feeling a bit deep tonight.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not sure what life has planned after the next 9 months. And I’m trying not to let that panic me. Mostly I’m succeeding. Mostly.


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