My parents are visiting so the last two weeks have been spent playing tourist with them and showing them my new life. I’ve finally done things that I’ve been meaning to so since I got here like go out to the islands. It’s also made me think about my life in Toronto overall. There’s a chance my boyfriend’s visa will not get extended which means that come February 2016 he’ll have to leave the country. And seeing as the whole point of me moving over here was so we could be together I’m not planning out staying here by myself.
There is also a chance that he will get permanent residency which means potentially staying out here for at least 2 years or maybe more. For a long time I’ve been focused on option A, that we go home next year. Because of this I find myself (maybe passively or maybe not) not settling into Toronto 100%. If I see nice things for our house I kind of think “well there’s no point, we won’t be here for long”, an opening for a role within the company and I think “well I’m only here for a few more months so probably no point” and when we talk about looking for a new place to live when our lease runs up in November I get worried about having to deal with the place solo if my boyfriend leaves.
I’m trying to overcome this mentality and enjoy Toronto. I’m trying to let it sink in that maybe I won’t be home in a few months and that’s ok. There’s stuff I still miss about home but now I feel like if I go back to Ireland there’s things I’ll miss about Toronto. I have a fear that if I go back to Ireland I’ll realize that I didn’t appreciate Toronto and my time here enough.
Here’s to not always looking at the worst case scenario.