I feel like one can tell a lot about other people in a yoga class from the first five minutes.

You have the Yoga Newbies, they look terrified that they’re doing something wrong even if all they’re doing is sitting on a mat. These tend to stress me out as I notice sometimes they’re looking at me for guidance – dudes I don’t know what I’m doing, look at the teacher, look at the teacher!!!

There’s the Gross Yoga Couple, the girl is ridiculously made-up for a yoga class while the guy looks a bit confused as to why they’re here instead of back in his bedroom. They spend the first few minutes with some pillow (yoga mat) talk and some gross kissing. Gross.

(Just in case you think I have an irrational hate of couples at Yoga, I do not mind yogi couples who come in, participate in class and do not have many PDAs in class)

There’s Annoying Perfect Yoga Girl who arrives looking amazingly fresh faced and wearing fancy yoga clothes that actually flatter her figure. When everyone is spending their first few minutes arranging their yoga mats they’re stretching into poses you can only dream of doing after possibly 2 years of yoga. They’re the assholes that can always go the extra mile in class and don’t even break a sweat. If you’re one of these people I really admire and look up to you. Lol J/K, I hate you.

I’m the one at the back trying to look confident and at peace but whose mind constantly wanders in class and starts thinking about random episodes of The Simpsons. I’m by no means perfect but rest assured, I’m judging everyone else whether they’re perfect or not.


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