Bad Movie Club

A couple of weeks ago I arrived to a friend’s house where they were watching Darkman. If like me you were unaware this film existed let me give you a summary: handsome scientist (played by Liam Neeson) gets blown up and is horrifically disfigured as a result. He also has a crazy temper and for some reason the hospital cuts off his nerves so he can no longer feel pain (SCIENCE). But he’s been working on fake skin production so he can create fake skin that only lasts for an hour or so (MORE SCIENCE) and he can mimic anyone’s face by using his scanner (EVEN MORE SCIENCE). Using these he gets his revenge on the villains who ruined his life. Or something. To be honest I came in late and this plot is fecking ridiculous so I’m sorry if I’ve gotten something wrong.

We followed this up with the classic (for some) 3 Ninjas which proves that even if the stunt double looks nothing like the actor they’re meant to be doubling that shouldn’t stop you from continuing with the film shoot.

Anyway, this lead to the idea of a Bad Movie Club where we watch terrible movies, bev up, provide hilarious insightful commentary and generally feel better about ourselves. Like it doesn’t really matter that I don’t know what I’m doing with my life – at least I wasn’t in this shitty movie. You get the idea.

Some would say that there are so many great movies out there, why are we wasting our time with the bad ones? To them I say you are missing the point, life is too short to not have the bants and lols with your friends. That phrase is trademarked. If you want to use it send me $1.

Since our first meeting we’ve watched Teen Witch which if you haven’t seen it really is a must. Most movies that involve magic usually set some moral ground rules such as “don’t use it to make people fall in love with you” or for your own personal gain. Teen Witch takes a different view – more along the lines of “Fuck it here’s your chance, do whatever you want kid. You’ve got magical powers!”. It also never really decides if it’s a musical or not so there’s a few random musical numbers that never really make sense. But trust me, it’s essential viewing.

All suggestions for Bad Movie Club are welcome – please share your terrible movie experiences.




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